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Written on the Calendar

(You can listen to this piece in season 1 episode 34 of the podcast)

“December 25th. It’s always been December 25th.”

“Darn it, you sure?”

“Nick, of course, I’m sure! I’m sure. The elves are sure. The reindeer are sure. All the little kids of the Western world are sure. Their parents are sure. Everybody’s sure!”

“But isn’t it a leap year?”

“Leap year? Honey, where is your head? It’s not a leap year. And besides, that wouldn’t change one thing about your annual responsibilities. Nor the date by which to get it all done.”

Nicholas grunted out of the four-legged oak breakfast table. Tucked by the large, four panned window, it was smartly trimmed in red, white, and green ribbons on every corner. There was a plaid silver and gold woven table runner. A sprig of evergreen sat as the centerpiece. He picked the wedgie out of his butt and the Mrs. rolled her eyes in disgust.

“Yeah, well, you’re probably right.”

At this she sucked her teeth and stood up, too, bringing her plate of biscuit crumbs and jelly to the kitchen sink.

“But the guys were counting on me,” he whined, adding a deep, pathetic sigh. She sighed, too, except hers was from deep within the bowls of her stomach.

“Well, too bad,” she sniffed. “And who plans a golf trip in December anyways?”


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